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Friday, September 30, 2005
Things I wish I'd seen on Dave Barry's Blog
Mostly, I wish I'd seen them because I sent them in and they didn't get blogged. Not a one. I have been trying to find funny stuff, but it seems that I don't have the touch at the moment. That belongs to people like Jeff, Claire and queensbee. Not that I am bitter. Because I have my own blog and I can post whatever I wish to on it!! Oh the power!! Bwahahahahahaha!!

Firstly, we have Sign #473 that you've run out of other things to do at work ...
Your greatest achievement thus far has been this.

I think I posted this on the Moat. For those of you who have come across my blog randomly, this will be new..
When you're really desperate for money, kidnap a small child and enter this competition.

Lastly (because there is another lastly after this one, but I only sent it off today, so I'm giving it another 24 hours before I unleash it on my blog. Although it's probably safer for everyone when it's contained.)..
May I present the first Halloween-related productivity enhancer of the season... How to Carve A Pumpkin

More to come if I continue to be ignored by the powers-that-be.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Words, words, words...
There are words that make you feel. I've been thinking about them since approximately this time last night when Slyeyes used the word "hankering" in a conversation. "Hankering" is a funny word.. repeat it out loud half a dozen times and you'll see what I mean. It sounds a little awkward, and (IMO.. which is the entire reason for having your own blog... ) it doesn't convey the feeling of what you're trying to express. None of this is in any way meant to pick on Sly.. she's wonderful and amazing, and she got me thinking, and is therefore responsible for the content of this post. So I guess I am picking on her a leeetle bit!

There are words that I love... silky, satiny words like caramel, gracious and evanescent (or silky and satiny).. words that feel lush and just rrrroooollllll off of your tongue so smoothly. There are words that you could just fall into, like opaque or ... well that's the only example I can come up with right now. Then there are words like hankering and chartreuse which I don't dislike, but make me a bit uncomfortable.. they just don't sit right with me. They feel as though I should look for another word to describe them, something that works a little bit better for me. .

What are some of your favourite/most despised words?
Sunday, September 25, 2005
That is all.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Random thoughts while reading the newspaper.
Awww... poor little criminal pervert. Life can be so tough for you.

H-E-Double Hockey Sticks.

He's smmooooookin'!

yes... I am bored....
Friday, September 16, 2005
Just to lighten the mood a little, after a couple of rants.
...my conversations with a 7 year old about the New Zealand elections. The child in question is staying with me for the weekend.. (white text is me.. in case it's not immediately obvious!) FYI .. child in question has ADD and the Ritalin was wearing off prior to bedtime.

What are we doing tomorrow?

I'm going out to vote. I don't know what you're doing.

Am I going to have a babysitter while you vote?

*Insert explanation here about the fact that I am joking and she will be coming with me*

Why do you vote?

Because it's election time. We vote to choose a Prime Minister.

But we already have a Prime Minister!

Yes, but every three years, someone else gets the chance to try to be Prime Minister. That's why we vote, to choose the person that we want to be Prime Minister.

Oh... okay. So she might not be Prime Minister any more?

If enough people vote for her, she'll still be Prime Minister. Otherwise it will be someone else.

*5 minute break*

But what will the Prime Minister do if she hasn't got a job any more?

She'll still have a job. It'll just be a different job.

Oh. Okay.
The latest bulletin from The Department of Redundancy Department
Heard on the radio the other day
"... the incident occured at 4a.m. in the morning...."

followed within the hour by the same annoucer using the phrase
"...renewed again..."

Aaaaarrrrggghhhh!!!!
I just want it to be clear..
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!

It's not his diet I hate (although I couldn't eat like that too often..) it's the inability to keep weight on. Which is technically not his fault, but still, I hate him!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Mmmmmmmm .. pass the coughdrops & popsicles, please!


Pretty much just for me. Me and anyone else who's interested, but really mostly for me. Those ER docs are HOT! Why don't they look like that when I have to go to ER?
Monday, September 12, 2005
The University of Virginia Computer Science Department
Have waaaaay too much time on their hands.

Don't forget to scroll down and visit their other links.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Wednesdays with Wolfie
or: It all started with photos of partially dressed men.

Which shouldn't surprise anyone who knows Wolfie... here's an excerpt from the blog....(Wolfie's quotes in yellow.. I hope it shows up!!). And major UCKY WARNING on the first two links...)

Okay, who let the cabana boys in the costume closet ?

Aaaaarrrgggghhhhh!!!
This is not a mispronouced piratical roar!! Do not look at Wolfie's links without a significant amount of alcoholic lubrication!!
*Runs to look for mental bleach*

Sorry Kat. Guess I should have tagged those with an ucky warning? Do I deserve a spanking for that?

Probably, Wolfie, but you'll have to ask someone else to administer it. I'm supposed to be gone already.

At this point in time, it was 3.10pm Tuesday EDT, which is 7:10am Wednesday NZT and I had to leave for work. So I took the next logical step, and after running to catch the bus, I sent Wolfie a text message.. if I'd known what I was starting, I'd probably still do it all over again. For those of you that don't know, I'm a nanny to twin 3yr old girls.. I'll give you a rundown of what I was doing during all of this...

I suppose it really should come from me - *spank* hehehe

Woohoooo!! I mean Oowwiieeee *giggles*

People on the bus are looking at me funny - more so than usual!

Prolly no worse than they did me in the party store on Saturday. was trying onna pirate shirt and 'time warp' from rocky horror came on so I danced it and sang it too. Stylin I was.

Arrives at Bus Exchange.. catches second bus from there to work..


Call the store.. tell them your friends need the security camera footage for a party.. ummm I mean for national security purposes

You just wanna see me inna pirate shirt n eyepatch with a sword stuck in my belt doing the pelvic thrust. you know they say it'll drive you insane.

Am I that easy to read? Or are your exhibitionist urges getting the better of you?

I'm just ever horn... hopeful and yes, yes they are. In another 15 minutes, I may have to strip off, `climb on top of my desk and sing the star spangled banner

*forwards text to Joshkr*

I arrive at work.. continue convo with Madame Wolfie while waking children (yes.. I have to drag them out of bed at 8am..), getting them settled, preparing cereal and getting out clothes to dress them

LMAO! Dare ya! :op

If I had his number, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I'd give it to you, but I won't without permission, and I can't get to him right now... lololol saved by timezone differences.

Lol - I'll talk to him tonight. I'm sure today isn't the only day you plan to do this.

It wasn't really a plan, just poor impulse control *giggles*

Is that what your lawyer is planning to tell the judge?

Naw, I'll just logically explain it to the judge, with a lovely demonstration, including, 4 candles, two silk scarves, a 12 volt battery and a twinkie :)

How could she fail to understand a defense like that?

Specially if I throw my whole self into the demo with lots of enthusiasm

How can you throw half of yourself and what does the other half do while it's waiting?

That would be the detached look and attitude while demonstrating and usually it's thinking up depraved ways to defile produce when I don't keep it busy.

Stops texting for about 45 mins while I dress aforementioned small fry, get them out the door to preschool, make beds, do dishes, and head out to the washing line with a load of washing.

*mind boggles trying to figure out the number of ways you could defile produce*

143 at last count, but I'm not sure the last 37 count because I have to include several other people and a sex swing.

Have you tried it with a trampoline instead of a swing? - it adds a whole new dimension and 41 new possibilities.

I head into house to vacuum and dust. Oh, the joy of my life!

I'm under a court order not to use a trampoline any more. Apparently I'm a menace on one. But I swear no permanent damage was done to the ceiling or the midgets. And the chicken did recover eventually.

*collapses in laughter - nearly drowns in pool of own drool* you're dangerous to my health, but great for my insanity!

Insanity helps the day go faster, doesn't it? *giggles*

In my defense, I did send a reply to this text, but it got lost in the ether... I was standing in a blank spot when I hit "send" apparently. Medication, discretion or both prevent me from repeating it in mixed company, so you'll just have to use your imagination.

This is the second time I've typed this out, because Blogger won't let me cut & paste, and the first time, I was about to hit "post" and I hit delete instead. Don't ask me to repeat what I was thinking. Feel free go on believing that I'm nicer than that... I'll do my best not to shatter more illusions than this post already has...
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Idiomatic Rant #1
This is not my first rant on grammar, idiom, etc. It's just the first one that I've been able to put on my own blog.
(BTW... This is rhetorical.. I'm ranting.. I know the answers, I'm just letting off steam)

Why, oh, why is any scandal now identified by adding the suffix "-gate"? It applied ONCE. In 1974, when there was a huge political scandal based out of the Watergate Hotel. Which makes sense, because -gate is actually part of the name of the hotel. Since then we've had every -gate imaginable, and it's unlikely to ever end. I thank the reporters for this. I thank them, mostly so they'll come closer and I can shoot them.

In a similar vein, I was watching a "Simpsons" rerun tonight (the one where Bart creates the "Angry Dad" cartoon series), and at one point, (this is what started this entire rant, BTW), Homer says "I'm a rage-oholic. I'm addicted to rage-ohol" and it occured to me that "-oholic" has become a suffix for any kind of addiction. We don't drink alc and have alcoholism as the addiction. We drink alcohol. Admittedly, "Workoholic" is easier on the vocal cords than "work-ic". We could always use "work-addicted" (and so on for other addictions), but we probably never will - not on a grand scale anyway. I know I'm going to change my personal speech patterns now, because I'm aware of it and it's going to bug me. Maybe some people will follow suit, maybe they won't. Either way, I feel better.

Thank you for listening. Or thank you for not listening, but letting me blather on until I felt better. I don't care which one applies. I've said my bit, and I can fixate on something else now.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
For The Ladies (& A Small Percentage Of The Men)

Droooool. That is all.
Oh.. and I can email you this pic if you want it.

Thursday, September 01, 2005
I'm losing my marbles.. I've already lost my links...
I had a very pretty links section over >>> there somewhere, but I lost it. Well, that's not exactly true. I know where it went, but I can't get it back. You see, I wanted to play with my template. Next time, someone remind me to cut and paste my links section somewhere else first!! Turns out the other template I liked didn't have a links list, so I went back to my original and my links were GONE!! Into the giant blue nowhere. *Sob* But don't worry about me. I'll get over it. One day. Possibly. Okay, never. I'm scarred for life. I'm also speaking in sentence fragments. Except for that last one.

Booger. Car. Double Car.