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Kaf's Corner

Thursday, September 08, 2005
Wednesdays with Wolfie
or: It all started with photos of partially dressed men.

Which shouldn't surprise anyone who knows Wolfie... here's an excerpt from the blog....(Wolfie's quotes in yellow.. I hope it shows up!!). And major UCKY WARNING on the first two links...)

Okay, who let the cabana boys in the costume closet ?

Aaaaarrrgggghhhhh!!!
This is not a mispronouced piratical roar!! Do not look at Wolfie's links without a significant amount of alcoholic lubrication!!
*Runs to look for mental bleach*

Sorry Kat. Guess I should have tagged those with an ucky warning? Do I deserve a spanking for that?

Probably, Wolfie, but you'll have to ask someone else to administer it. I'm supposed to be gone already.

At this point in time, it was 3.10pm Tuesday EDT, which is 7:10am Wednesday NZT and I had to leave for work. So I took the next logical step, and after running to catch the bus, I sent Wolfie a text message.. if I'd known what I was starting, I'd probably still do it all over again. For those of you that don't know, I'm a nanny to twin 3yr old girls.. I'll give you a rundown of what I was doing during all of this...

I suppose it really should come from me - *spank* hehehe

Woohoooo!! I mean Oowwiieeee *giggles*

People on the bus are looking at me funny - more so than usual!

Prolly no worse than they did me in the party store on Saturday. was trying onna pirate shirt and 'time warp' from rocky horror came on so I danced it and sang it too. Stylin I was.

Arrives at Bus Exchange.. catches second bus from there to work..


Call the store.. tell them your friends need the security camera footage for a party.. ummm I mean for national security purposes

You just wanna see me inna pirate shirt n eyepatch with a sword stuck in my belt doing the pelvic thrust. you know they say it'll drive you insane.

Am I that easy to read? Or are your exhibitionist urges getting the better of you?

I'm just ever horn... hopeful and yes, yes they are. In another 15 minutes, I may have to strip off, `climb on top of my desk and sing the star spangled banner

*forwards text to Joshkr*

I arrive at work.. continue convo with Madame Wolfie while waking children (yes.. I have to drag them out of bed at 8am..), getting them settled, preparing cereal and getting out clothes to dress them

LMAO! Dare ya! :op

If I had his number, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I'd give it to you, but I won't without permission, and I can't get to him right now... lololol saved by timezone differences.

Lol - I'll talk to him tonight. I'm sure today isn't the only day you plan to do this.

It wasn't really a plan, just poor impulse control *giggles*

Is that what your lawyer is planning to tell the judge?

Naw, I'll just logically explain it to the judge, with a lovely demonstration, including, 4 candles, two silk scarves, a 12 volt battery and a twinkie :)

How could she fail to understand a defense like that?

Specially if I throw my whole self into the demo with lots of enthusiasm

How can you throw half of yourself and what does the other half do while it's waiting?

That would be the detached look and attitude while demonstrating and usually it's thinking up depraved ways to defile produce when I don't keep it busy.

Stops texting for about 45 mins while I dress aforementioned small fry, get them out the door to preschool, make beds, do dishes, and head out to the washing line with a load of washing.

*mind boggles trying to figure out the number of ways you could defile produce*

143 at last count, but I'm not sure the last 37 count because I have to include several other people and a sex swing.

Have you tried it with a trampoline instead of a swing? - it adds a whole new dimension and 41 new possibilities.

I head into house to vacuum and dust. Oh, the joy of my life!

I'm under a court order not to use a trampoline any more. Apparently I'm a menace on one. But I swear no permanent damage was done to the ceiling or the midgets. And the chicken did recover eventually.

*collapses in laughter - nearly drowns in pool of own drool* you're dangerous to my health, but great for my insanity!

Insanity helps the day go faster, doesn't it? *giggles*

In my defense, I did send a reply to this text, but it got lost in the ether... I was standing in a blank spot when I hit "send" apparently. Medication, discretion or both prevent me from repeating it in mixed company, so you'll just have to use your imagination.

This is the second time I've typed this out, because Blogger won't let me cut & paste, and the first time, I was about to hit "post" and I hit delete instead. Don't ask me to repeat what I was thinking. Feel free go on believing that I'm nicer than that... I'll do my best not to shatter more illusions than this post already has...

Bet the children were looking at you funny when your phone kept going off. Specially when you couldn't keep a straight face reading. I used to be a nanny once upon a time. Ahh the young minds I've twisted. Wolfieneice might have only fallen for the lawn trout thing for about 30 seconds, but some of the kids I cared for took much much longer to figure it out.  

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Ok - I've just giggled out loud reading this. I hate it when I giggle. I'm off to nail two bits of wood together in order to regain my manliness...  

_____________________

How does nailing two bits of wood help your manliness? What are you hammering them with?

*wide eyed innocent blink*

This is what happens when I'm trusted with a cell number. I abuse it. Frequently.  

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I bet it enjoys it more than you'd think, Wolfie.

G kept asking me "What are you laughing at?" D'you think I should have told her?.. a wolf in a pirate shirt doing the timewarp in a costume shop woulda made about as much sense as anything she could come up with alone.

*loves Higgy some manly juice*

Okay so it's coke, tequila and cayenne pepper. It'll be fun to watch though.  

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I'm under a court order not to use a trampoline any more. Apparently I'm a menace on one. But I swear no permanent damage was done to the ceiling or the midgets. And the chicken did recover eventually.

Well. I guess chickens aren't good for only one thing...*





*note: this joke only makes sense to a portion of Americans who have seen a Carl's Jr. ad featuring a chicken who completely fails to sit, catch, juggle and/or collate and a voiceover who proclaims that chickens are good for only one thing: eating. ("BuGAWK?!?!")  

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I thought chickens were good for layung, too...

EGGS! Sheesh.

*gets the giggles thinking of a chicken juggling (as opposed to chicken juggling. That's just cruel.)*  

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