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Thursday, January 26, 2006
The Phone Conundrum
or where does the phone go when you're looking for it?



This is my phone. Well, it's a picture of my phone with the three different cover options.. it's currently wearing its charcoal faceplate. Classic, timeless, blah blah blah.

I bought this particular model because it had an integrated digital answering machine. That was the reasoning. That and the reasonable price.. (umm.... $170 NZD, I think? Soemthing like that.) This was after losing the previous answering machine in a house move. I can't lose this one though. It's in the phone.
The problem seems to be that I lose the phone on a regular basis. As you can see in the picture, there is a button on the base. If you can't find the phone, you press the button and the phone starts whistling at you. Until you make it stop, by pressing a button on the phone.
I get to do this A LOT.
The main problem is the size of the phone. More than once I have put in in a jacket/jeans/robe/pants pocket, then hung the clothing in the wardrobe and been unable to find the phone.
Then there's the times that it's in the pocket of a piece of clothing, and I'm wearing the clothing and I'm looking for the phone because I can hear it, but it's not ANYWHERE, damnit!! I know because I've looked everywhere!
Other times, I leave it behind in rooms I've left, or it falls under a pile of junkmail or a stack of library books. It doesn't usually migrate into cracks in the sofa, because it's slightly too chunky for that.

So... all of that preamble leads to my questions.. sort of a poll if you will - sohrt and simple ...
1. Does this happen to anyone else?
2. Is it worth having a cordless phone given what a pain it was to stay in one place with a wall phone (which are virtually impossible to lose unless you're very clever)?
3. If it is only me, am I ..
a) insane
b) sane, but pathologically disorganised
c) either
d) both
e) some combination of any or all of the above
Monday, January 23, 2006
Grammatical Ponderings
Why is the past tense of ship shipped, yet the past tense of worship is worshiped? Does this make sense to anyone else?
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Tequila Time...
What happens when you:-

1) have nothing to do

2) own a sharp knife

3) have a large lime

4) own a patient cat

5) drink too much tequila

6) and it's American football season?

.

.

.

.


.

.

Thursday, January 19, 2006
Why God Created Children...
*Editorial note* This came in the email from my cousin and her husband, recent first-time grandparents..... It was all pretty and indented in the email, which it isn't here, but I can forward the original to anyone who wants it....

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
"DON'T!"

"Don't what ?"
Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.

"Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit !"

"No Way !"
"Yes way !"

"Do NOT eat the fruit ! "
said God.

"Why ?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so ! "
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? "
God asked.

"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.

"Then why did you ? "
said the Father.

"I don't know,"
said Eve.

"She started it ! "
Adam said.

"Did not ! "

"Did too ! "

"DID NOT ! "

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN AND KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Apparently, I'm Retro. Who Knew?
Tonight, I turned on the radio. MORE FM, nothing too "out there" and they were having a retro night. Music from the late 70's, 80's and very early 90's. The music of my life. It's all retro now. I ask you, is that fair?

BTW.. Feargal Sharkey's "A Good Heart" still gives me a yummy warm feeling. I don't know why this always seems to happen, but it does. It was the song playing when I turned the radio on.

Turn the radio up,
oh that sweet sound,
Hold me close,
never let me go.
Take me over the edge,
make me lose control...........
Friday, January 13, 2006
Black Friday
Y'know, I'd forgotten about this.

Sure, I knew it was Friday, and I knew it was the 13th, but I hadn't even thought about FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH (Insert evil laugh here)

Then there was this note on my Page-A-Day Calendar (This year's version.. random facts and trivia)

Austrian composer Arnold Schoenberg was obsessed with the number 13. He was born on September 13, 1874, and believed he would die on the 13th as well. Probably, he decided, on a Friday the 13th, and most likely in 1951 when he was 76 (7+6=13). That year, July 13 fell on a Friday, and Schoenberg stayed in bed all day, awaiting death. Late that night, his wife went into his room to check on him and scold him for wasting the day so foolishly. When she opened the door, Schoenberg looked up at her, and uttered the single word "...harmony..." - and died. Time of death: 11:47pm - 13 minutes to midnight.

As I retype this, I'm getting more sceptical. I'll go check Snopes and report back in a bit.

UPDATE: Snopes have nothing on it. Wikipedia and Answers.com both seem to have the 11:47 story. So it could actually be true. That's a nice change.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Minor Editorial Mishap Alert
Thanks to a technical glitch (i.e. I screwed up while fiddling with my settings), Blog Pal linkage will be non-existent for a short while. I do have the links list saved, (I've done this before and learned my lesson), but I'm not up to any more figuring and fidgeting tonight. It's too warm and muggy.

UPDATE UPDATE!! (10:25am 9/1/06 or thereabouts.) It should all be fixed now and this post is completely unnecessary.
Man Watcher's Day



Well, if I must, I must. It is on the calendar, after all.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Toys and Gadgets
Okay.. I'll admit it. I loooooove kitchen gadgets. I am a complete dork in that respect. I looooove the kitchen/homwares department at Ballantynes. I looooove shops like King of Knives (who haven't updated their website since before Christmas.. I've seen all of this!). I went to King of Knives this week and I bought a can opener. But not just any can opener. It was this one...



The GoodCook Orbi SafeCut.

Pretty, huh? In a very artsy way. I don't care as much about the shape, though, as the fact that it opens cans in a particular way, so you can seal them up again.. using the lid as an actual lid, not just balancing it on top or shoving it down into the can, and risking the food drying out or cross contamination.

Yaaaaaay for gadgets!!!