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Kaf's Corner

Thursday, February 09, 2006
Hi!
Yes, I'm still alive.,

No, I have nothing new to say.

Tell me a joke, sing me a song... do something PLEEEEEEASE!

can't. it's all been said before. at least once. the most we can do is rearrange old words into new combinations. so demolish algebra barnacle faceplates, o.k.?  

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An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

The blonde opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "he makes his own lunch."  

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a rabbi, a priest, a horse, and a hooker walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of a Joke?"  

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a man walks into a bar... 'owwww!' he says.  

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Thanks guys!

Now I'll have to think of something..

Okay.. this is my father's favourite racist joke. Just keep reading, okay?? My Dad's not like that.....


During a time of war, a widow realises that Thanksgiving is coming up, and thinks maybe she should ring the local army base and invite some of the soldiers who are far from home to her house for lunch on the day. So she rings up and after being transferred a few times, finally gets through to a sergeant. "Sergrant", she says, "I'd like to invite a couple of your men who are away from home to Thanksgiving lunch at my house". "Well, ma'am", said the sergeant, "that's very generous of you.". "There's just one thing, though", the widow said, "No Jews. I'm don't like them very much. I don't feel comfortable around the Jewish folks". "All right, ma'am, that's fine" said the sergeant. "Thank you very much for your kind offer. Two of our men will be there on the day."
So the day dawns, and at the appointed time, the doorbell rings. The widow opens her door, and standing there, in their dress uniforms are two of the biggest, baddest, blackest soldiers this woman has ever seen in her life. She backs away a little, stammering.. "I-I-I... I th-th-think there's been a mistake". The first soldier steps forward, and says "Oh no, ma'am. Sergeant Goldman never makes mistakes."  

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I don't know any good jokes for people older than 7. Um... *ahem*

*at the top of my lungs*

On top of spaghettiiiii
all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball
when somebody sneezed
 

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Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?

Somebody told him to "Get a long little doggy."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to swear?

Yell "Bingo!"

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Oneā€”but she gives it a surprise twist at the end.

A man submitted his ten best puns in an attempt to win a pun contest.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.  

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It rolled off the taaable,
and onto the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
It rolled out the doooooor


YAAY!!

Hehehehe .. this has made my day!  

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Oggy Oggy Oggy!
Oy Oy Oy!
Oggy Oggy Oggy!
Oy Oy Oy!
Oggy Oggy Oggy!
Oy Oy Oy!
Oggy Oggy Oggy!
Oy Oy Oy!
Oggy Oggy Oggy!
Oy Oy Oy!  

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kaf.- so far i've told your joke to three people and gotten 2 positive responses (no reply from my Dad, but he's not e-mailing much 'cause of a broken shoulder)  

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A piece of string walks into a bar. The bouncer grabs him and throws him out, saying "No string allowed in here". So the string wraps himself up and fuzzes both ends - then walks back into the bar. The bouncer says "Aren't you the string that I just threw out of here?" and the string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Ok, I got nuthin...  

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Kaf, glad you're back!  

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ooh Scat..

cute babies!!  

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